Haynesworth Pleads No Contest, Likely Dodges Suspension

Albert Haynesworth may have gotten out of this one.  Haynesworth pleaded No Contest to the charge of Simple Assault, concluding the infamous case in which he was accused of groping a waitress at the W Hotel in Washington DC.

Haynesworth had previously claimed innocence based on the fact that the waitress was African-American and he “doesn’t even like black girls”.  Regardless of Haynesworth’s preference in women and whether or not that was a factor, this case is resolved.

He received 160 hours of communtiy service, and the general consensus among insiders is that he will not face discipline from the NFL. Here in New England, we have all been wondering if the Hoodie was waiting for this legal mess to clear up before he brought Haynesworth out on the field, since Big Albert has been out of practice since the beginning of August. With his legal troubles behind him, maybe Haynesworth will finally get out there and show us why the Hoodie brought him here. There HAS to be some Belichickian genius at work behind the scenes.

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Everyone in the Patriots organization knew this day was coming, so it’s hard to imagine the Hoodie wasn’t scheming and plotting all along.  In fact I’ll come right out and say it: Today begins the next step in Belichick’s Evil Haynesworth Plan. The rest of the NFL better Fear The Hoodie, because we all know he’s got something up his cut-off gray sleeve.

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